Best moment of my life.

How come the best moments in life is almost always the most spontaneous onces? It popped up in my head while i was watching the latest episode of Skins. My greatest moment.

Now don't get me wrong. I've done many great things in my life. Well at least I think they're great but most others would probably think they're silly, childish or just plain stupid. But it's the memories i remember the most.

I'll give you a few examples:

I've climbed an abandoned four story building, positioned nicely on a hill, just to see the skyline of my city better. A most wonderful view by the way. It was in the summer afternoon, and the setting sun from the west just gave everything a perfect glow. The rooftops of the buildings, the crowns of the trees, the shadows they created. It was a perfect skyline.

I've walked across the railings of a bridge. Doesn't sound so impressive, I know, but it was great non the less. The bridge in question positioned over a small river running through my hometown. Pitch black and rather shallow. They say it gets its color from all the nourishment around it. The bridge itself was about 10 meters high in the middle i suppose. That's about 30 feet for you yanks. A small feat but the rush, my God, the rush was enormous.

The list goes on. But my most wonderful moment, the one that I'll always remember the most, is this one.

Picture a beach. It's late, but the sun is still up, about an hour or so before it sets completely. On the beach there's this small wooden dock. On this beach there's two persons. Me and a girl I happened to fancy at the time. We walked along it, just chatting about some random stuff, until we got to the end. Stood there for a time, first looking out on the view, and then at each other before we kissed. Now, this, as you can image, is already a pretty good damn memory. Lake view. We had the skyline of the city, with the sun going down behind it, at one side and the sunglistering water stretching out to the forests on the other. And we stood there, alone, kissing. But here is why it's not just a great memory, but the greatest.

Just after the kiss i picked up my cellphone from my pocket and gave it to her. I remember she got this kind of puzzled look on her face. But before she had time to react or actually have time to think about why i gave her my phone I leaned backwards. I could feel my self tipping over, and when i was about halfway, I stretched out my arms and looked up on the sky.

And the feeling at that moment, just when my feet left the dock and before I hit the water, I felt completely free. Just for a split second.

Then of course, my whole body hit the water at the same time. It was a rather hard impact, because of the dock being like 1.5 meters above sea level, and the water was freezing cold. But it was worth it.

And that's it. And oh, she told me I was "fucking crazy". Roughly translated of course.

New stuff

I got myself some new stuff. A new apartment. A new phone. End of transmission.

I miss myself.

Is that even possible? Missing yourself. I mean, I'm right here.

I guess I mean that I miss the one I once was. It's just that that's silly aswell, if i misss the one i were, why don't i just go back to being that person.

I guess it's just insn't that easy. It's too bad really. too bad...

Why fat chicks should lose weight.

This may seem obvious to most some people but fat people are ugly. And since I don't care about fat guys, I'm not homosexual, I'm only adressing the fat chicks out there.

GIRLS, PUT DOWN THE FUCKING FORK!

It isn't hard to lose weight. All you need to do is stop stuffing your face with food. But some might reply "But Cray, I don't eat more than most other people." Most of them later revealing that they, in fact, don't. But they do however drink several gallons of soda per day. Just because something is liquid doesn't mean it isnt food. Soup is food and so is CocaCola(^tm)

So girls, if you ever want a chance to get laid with a decent guy that doesn't live out of a trailor, or is mentally retarded, lose some weight. It's that easy. Unless you're born ugly. Then all your hope is lost. Sorry.

I am drunk and going to clean my room and then cut my hair. It's has grown too long. I look like a hobo.

Re: resolve

I just realized when going thru my blog that the resolve i had was to quit smoking. Not stop eating junk food.

Well that failed miserably.

Mindmaps

Mindmaps sucks. I've never understood the use of them. What can a mindmap achive that normal listing can't? Excpet from confusing you and others who read them.

I always hated when we had to go thru them at school when you where forced to make them in some assigments. It's like saying "Here, that this list of facts, spread them out and put pretty colors to them so it get harder to read!" It's even worse if you have to cover some larger subject, putting stupid circles and lines, and run out of paper. What are you suppose to do then? Take a new paper and make really long lines? Tape two papers and tape them togheter? I, for one, do not go around carrying tape on me. Hell, I barely remembered to bring a pen to most of my classes. So what i end up doing is making smaller and smaller circles with smaller text. And the mind automatically thinks that smaller things are less important. When reviewing the text a couple of weeks later that's not really ideal. You go over the large circles you wrote first and then try to decipher the smaller ones until you give up and do some drugs and defaults to the learning book.

No, I've always though the best way to learn something is to list it, read it and then read it again. Preferably mixed with the aid of some ritalin.

Broken Resolve

I broke my resolve today. I hadn't eaten any junk food for a good time now. And I could really feel how Ii got healthier and skinnier. But today I met up with some friends and we decided to eat a pizza. I didn't even think about it before it was too late.

Now I have to compensate with counting calories and running like a freak. Bah.

Smoking

I've grown tired of smoking. So i'm quiting. Today. Ill try to write down my progress in here. Including any relapses. lol.

Ambition

I once read in a book something that reflects a though I've had in my mind for years, in all of my life in fact, that i just havn't been able to put to words. It was a simple sentence but its depth struck me so hard that i had to put down the book for a while. It was, translated from swedish, "Ambition is for errand boys and elevator operators." 

I've always considered ambition as something for those who can't enjoy the present. They're always so worried about the future that they can't see what's just infront of them. The now. It's always about the future, it's always about the straight A's and it's always about that "someday."

Someday they'll be rich and have a good job. Or something. I don't know. I just know that all those tomorrows until Someday will become yesterdays. A frightening alot of yesterdays without any real significance or importance.

Not saying that having some ambition is a bad thing. Just as long as they don't overwhelm you. 

It's not that bad being mediocre.