Terrorism

Well, as all of you might know, Norway got hit by its biggest attack since WWII yesterday. Over 90 people dead so far. Norway is my neighboring country, which is more similar than different from Sweden, so it feels very close and real. It could have been here.

The thing I've never understood about terrorism is... Well, it's why. The people carrying out the attacks are often intelligent. Just look at this attack on Norway. It took extensive planning and bomb manufacturing. Most people can't even set the clock on their DVD. And since the terrorist have the ability of logical thinking they should know that nothing good never comes out of blowing people up. Terrorists actions does the exact opposite of what they want it to do. People have no sympathy for the terrorists, they don't go thinking "Hey, they blew up a lot of people, maybe they're right." No, people get mad.

Lets just look at america and 9/11. A huge blow against america. But those 3000 tragic deaths lead to a war. A war were around a hundred thousand civilians have been killed on Iraqi soil. So who's the real looser here?

The Norwegians obviously can't go to war against their own country. But the attack will still strengthen the things he was trying to fight. What ever party he voted for will loose members. The party he was fighting will get more votes and more active members.

Yeah... I don't know what more to say. It's just sad.

tl:dr; Terrorism is stupid and never gets them what they want.

vid says it all

Blogging at work

Another day under the same sky. I'm currently sitting here at work, enjoying a partially dimmed sun, and trying to figure out what to do with all my dead time between customers. When getting drunk isn't really an option I don't really know what to do with myself. I considered doing some interpretive dance for a moment before I realized that I have no idea whatsoever what that even is. So I decided that the best course of action was to pull up my iPod, light a cigarette, and write something. But of course I have nothing to write about.

Sometimes I wish i was a professional writer. Those guy seem to have their life cut out for them. I already got the basic laid out for me, if professional writing is anything like it's portrayed in Californication, with the alcohol, women and the constant despair. And I assume it's just like that. But what I don't understand is how they can get their thoughts down on paper so easily. Or in my case, into a first generation iPod. Take that woman who wrote those Harry Potter books. Just one of those books is more than what I've written in a lifetime. And she wrote seven of them. And everyone of them were better than the last. The fact that she was able to write all those books about some annoying, paranoid kid with a scar in his face is just amazing. Kudos to you, woman who I don't remember the name of.

I still try though. And sometimes I get something decent down. Sometimes I get some pseudo-intellectual rambling out that’s barely understandable. But most of the time it's just bad. Take my last post for example. I read it over this morning and I have no idea how I could let that thing go public. It's awful. You could go to a random 14 year old's blog and get some rambling about their new pair of shoes and how they make them feel and you'd still be better off reading that.

But the fact is that most of the things that comes out of my head looks like that. I got a folder full of word-document containing about 100-200 word of nothingness each that will never see the light of day. They be stored on my hard-drive forever. Mocking me.

The thing is that I can't delete them neither. I need them to be there. To remind me how not to write. They are my shame and yet they are the only thing that strives me to become a better writer.

My City - Short Ver.

Västerås. With its 130.000 inhabitants it's the fifth largest city in Sweden. And this is my home.

I've lived in many cities in Sweden. Västerås, Uppsala, Eskilstuna, Kalmar, and some more not really worth mentioning, but I always come back to Västerås. I don't know why, but it's like every time I try to escape, it pulls me back in. In a good way. This is why I'd like to share it with you.

I'm lazy tho, so I'll just share a couple of pics instead. You can Wikipedia the rest.

You see that tall building to the right? Partially hidden behind the bushes. That's "Skrapan". Or "The sky skraper" in english. It's our only building with more than 24 floors. If you've seen that you've seen anything worth seeing in Västerås really.

And this is our highway. The only real way in or out of our city. Deserted. Now you might say: "But Cray, you're obviously just using pictures from deserted city Pripyat's high way and labeling it as your own." This could be the case, but no, this is actually the highway going through Sweden fifth largest city. If you look closely you can even see a car in the distance.

Well, this post turned out quite differently than I had originally imagined. I do like love my city, and I feel like I'm a part of it, but at the same time it makes me depressed as hell.

Oh well, at least it's not as bad as Eskilstuna. Seriously, don't go there, that place is fucked up.

Filler

Since it's been a long day, it's getting kinda late, I probably got work tomorrow and I'm heavily medicated against my migraine right now I'm going to try to keep this post short. Originally I was going to write some insightful things about Facebook and how makes people behave, including me, but I'll have to save that for another day. Then i got to thinking that'd I share some stuff with you that I really enjoy. But then I realized that I don't want my blog to turn into some kind of link page. But then again, I'm high as a skyscraper and really want to sleep right now. So I'll leave you with some YouTube clips. Because, you know, hell yeah!

This first video is Boards of Canada by Sixtyniner. I stumbled upon this great piece of artwork just a few days ago. The sound is really relaxing and the video for it, which were made by fans, are just beautiful and fits perfectly with the music. A must see for anyone with music taste.

Just to have some contrast to that epic thing we just saw we got another epic video. But this time we got Day[9], or Day[J] as he prefers to be called, explaining why trumpets is a bad idea. I remember laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe the first time I saw this. A must see.

And finally, to wrap things up, I'm going to share with you something that's going to blow your mind. Probably the best artist AND music video in all of 2011! I give to you: Rebecka Blac... naa, just kidding. This is a song that's been with me since 2002. It's not the best song ever and it's in swedish but it's loaded with memories. It's Kent - Dom andra!

Oh, the nostalgia. Well, that's everything for me. I hope what I've written is readable for all you sober people out there. And if not, at least I wasted a couple of minutes of your time. Tune in tomorrow for more awesome stuff which doesn't revolve around stealing content from YouTube!

Nicotine's a bitch

This day sucks. I was about to post just that sentence, because of me being in a bad mood, but I think you guys deserve some back story. This post won't really be as deep and soul touching as most of my other posts. But to hell with that. It's my human right to complain, and if I want to tell the world about my self-destructive behavior, then so be it.

The whole thing really started two days ago. I was hung over like a beast after a late night of drinking so most of the day was wasted on lying on a friend's couch. After several failed attempts to stop myself from throwing up I decided that it was time to go home. A quick glance in the mirror, just to make sure that my looks were still intact, and away I went to a 30 minute walk of shame. At 4 in the afternoon. On a Friday.

The walk home was pretty uneventful, as it always is, but that's really the norm for these kinds of things. No, the things that lead to this day being hell were my thought when I got home. It went something like this:

"Cool, I haven't had a cigarette for almost half a day and I don't feel like smoking. I should try to see how it feels to go several days just like that!"

This must have been the most stupid idea I've had all year. And I've done some stupid stuff. The worst thing is that I didn't even want to quit. I like smoking. I've liked it ever since I started smoking about three years ago. I've never had any of those pesky side effects, like smoke cough or reduced whatever. And studies show that you look at least 10% cooler holding a cigarette. Who am I to argue against science? No, I wanted to see how it felt to go without nicotine without any real reason. That's like shooting yourself in the foot with a gun just to see if it hurts. Stupid.

Let’s fast forward a day. It's five pm and I'm at work. I work at a very service minded job at summer. That is, Ii guard a lawn and sometimes I tend to some customers. And I usually don't have a hard time doing it. Sure, some customers can be quite obnoxious, but mostly it doesn't faze me at all. I fake a smile and exchange their money for goods. But, as I realized today, even the easiest task can make you want to punch someone in the face if you're on day two of nicotine withdrawal. It's hell. I even considered trading an ice cream for a cigarette before I, thankfully, realized how bad that'd would've looked. Especially when the kid was like 12. I really can't understand how people can "quit" several times per year. That must be like self-inflicted torture. Like emos cutting themselves.

When I finally get of work, having managed not to kill a single customer, I come home and find that my adapter has fried, rendering my laptop useless. And when I went to call to see if someone had a replacement I realized that I've forgotten my phone somewhere. So I'm writing this on my iPod, hoping it would calm me down. Totally didn't. So I'm going to go out, find the nearest open place, and buy me a loaf of cigarettes.

If you read about some guy in Sweden beating up some other guy over a pack of smokes tomorrow then you probably know who it was.

P.S: Did I mention that it just started raining?

A love for dubstep

I usually don't blog about "boring" stuff like music, clothes or about how awesome my perfectly normal day has been. I've never cared much for such blogs so I've always assumed that others didn't as well. This on the other hand has resulted in a blog that gets updated roughly twice a year. And I do believe that an empty blog is just as bad as a boring one. So I'll just share my recently found love for dubstep with you.

First things first. To really enjoy dubstep you need to own a decent sound system. I really wouldn't recommend anything below the price range of $100. If you're using headphones, old "computer speakers" or your in-built laptop sound, just forget it. It'll sound like shit and you'll end up hating it. The reason for this is that dubstep relies on bass. And most cheap sound systems can't handle bass correctly. So it would be like watching Avatar on a black and white TV. It kinda works, you get what the content is about, but most of the things that make it good is lost on you.

Lets say you have a decent sound system then. What now?

Well there isn't much you have to do really. Find a good dubstep song, crank your amplifier up to 11 and have fun. Just don't forget to put the quality to 720/1080 if you're playing the song on youtube.

And if you're unsure where to find good dubstep songs, I'll just leave this here:

Oh and yeah

Crays back bitches ;)

Remembering

After just over a year of being in a relationship I've once again become single. My initial feelings were sadness and anger, just like they always are when a serious thing reaches an end, but those feelings changed faster than I thought possible. Even for me. It didn't take long before the separation felt somehow less of a loss than a gain.

First day alone and I began to remember stuff. This is probably some weird stuff to forget in the first place but you'd be amazed how easy it was.

People want me. It took literally hours before old acquaintances began texting me. Sure, this used to happen when I was still dating as well, but then I'd just ignore them, thinking nothing of it. Or politely decline if they were hot ;). This was the first thing I remembered.

I'm beautiful. And that comes with advantages. This was the second thing I remembered. And probably one of the first things I forgot as well. My now ex-girlfriend wasn't exactly Jessica Alba, but she was nice and I loved her. But being with the same person for too long destroys my self-esteem. I don't think this has so much to do with the person I'm with as much as it has to do with the fact that from the very moment I enter a relationship, all outside feedback about my appearance is cut off. And I'm a narcissist. I need that shit like junkies need heroin. The rush you get when you know you're beautiful and others agree. Unimaginable. It's like I said to a girl whom I just met who asked me "How do you pick up girls?" A question I've gotten many times before. So I told her the truth: "I just introduce myself with a hello and let my looks do the rest". It really is that simple. This leads me to my third thing.

That sensation of the "first moment". That incredibly wonderful feeling you get when you do something with someone for the first time. I enjoy this feeling so much that I’ve blogged about it before. It's like a drug. It's the feeling you get the first time you hit it off with someone new, it's the feeling you get when you hold your arms around someone for the first time, it's the feeling you get right before the kiss, right when you look into each other’s eyes. Breathing rapidly. You can feel her breath on you just before she closes her eyes and lean forward, ever so slightly, just so that your lips meet. That feeling is like the touch of God.

That’s the feeling of freedom. And I remember it.

How much i love sex.

Looking back on my life, and the things I've done to get laid, I've realized that I love sex. Not just the act itself, but everything revolving it as well.

If we take a normal sexual encounter for example. Lets say we're in my room. We're lying on the bed watching a movie. Most often than not, the movie isn't even important. It's just there to give us an excuse to be lying close to each other.NOTE: The girl in this example isn't anyone specific, but rather all the girls I've been with mixed together. With a few exceptions.

And this is what i love: Everything from this moment on.
Foreplay
Now, if we still go with this example, when you're lying like that you got one arm over the head, and the other around her waist. You cuddle up closer so that you can feel her warmth, hear her breathing her hair against your cheek. Just lying like this, maybe holding hands, or stroking her waist and legs with your free hand.
This is when the kissing begins. You move away her hair a little, exposing her neck and face better. Your lips touch her neck, light, quick ones. She bends her head backwards to meet your lips. This is one of the better parts. The kissing.
I usually try to move her over so that she lies directly on top of me, holding her head with my hand, grabbing her hair lightly, and kiss her, with my head a little tilted. Tounge and lip-nibbling is of course involved.

I was once told that my kisses were "greedy and rough". I asked in return if that was a good or a bad thing, in which she ensured me that it was a very good thing.

Moving forward with this example. This is when i usually go for the bra. I almost always go for it before taking her shirt off. I'm my younger days i had to stop holding her head with one of my hands, or even even ask her to help me unbutton it. Nowadays I've mastered the technique to open it with one hand, sometimes with her not even noticing. Still kissing her, fondling her, enjoying having her body pressed against mine, still fully clothed.

Foreplay, for me, is almost as good and important as the sex itself. It builds lust and anticipation. With every girl I've been with, I've almost always remembered the foreplay more than the sex it self. Going straight for putting your dick in her pussy doesn't build up any expectations. It's like skipping to the end of a book.

Okay, This is were it gets a bit more X-rated and more skin gets involved. And how you do this also kind of depends on what kind of girl you're with and the mood. But my favorite is when i sit her up in my lap, and take my shirt of first, Showing her my beautiful body. And then i take her shirt of, with her bra following with it of course. Then you just press against her, kissing her, holding her. Feeling her naked skin against yours. Our tongues meeting. Her crotch pressed against mine.

This is when i push her down on the bed, still kissing her, but this time with me on top. I fondle her breasts, kiss her along her neck, down her belly and down to her pants. I waste no time unbuttoning them.

I love how they always help you taking the pants of by raising their butt. That gesture just makes me so incredible horny.

Anywho, I run my tongue along the edge of her panties, over them, before i get back up, next to her, and kiss her again, while she in turn takes my pants if. She usually do this while i finger her thru her panties.
And this is just the foreplay, I don't want to type so much more about the actual sex act because that's not what this post is about. It's about how much i love Sex. And this is just one of many examples of how it starts of.

But my number one rule is to this: Give her pleaseure and she'll return the favor

Kissing:

Even if kissing isn't something considered sex i think it's closely related and good kissing is key to a proper sex life. Kissing is relatively easy, but being a good kisser is not. I've heard that I'm one of the good ones, but they might just say that to be nice.

Usually when i kiss a girl I get close to her, put one arm around her waist, and the other supporting her neck, pressing her against me. At the exact same time i lean forward, tilt my head to the right and let our lips meet.

That feeling, is always wonderful by the way. Exactly when your lips meet. You can't explain how good a pair of lips feels pressed against your own.

We kiss for a while, and i try to "probe" with my tongue, see if she's willing to let them meet. This is often the case. But I try not to use to much tongue. Just a little more so that our tips meets somewhere in there, twirling about.

First Kiss

Now the first kiss is something entirely different from a normal kiss. I'm not talking about your first kiss ever, but the first kiss with the girl you just met. I've had many first kisses and they've all varied some what. The ones when you're utterly drunk is never that good. But the ones when you're sober, or a maybe a little bit buzzed, are wonderful.

Picture this, you've been talking to this cute girl, sitting next to her, having your arm around her. You are alone.

This is a perfect setting. This is were I'd move my arm around her waist instead. Then look her in the eyes, with a smile. I can clearly see that she's aroused, blushed cheeks, her chests moves faster. (if she's not, don't try to kiss her) I use my other hand to move some of her hair, and leave it on her cheek, stroking her lightly with my thumb while still looking into her eyes. This takes maybe a half a second, before i lean in, close, kind of from the side.

We got our faces so close to each other that we can feel each others breaths. I intentionally do this, instead of going straight for the kiss, to up the tension. I let my lips lightly brush against hers, teasing her, before kissing her for real. And we ended up kissing for several minutes before taking a break. And that look. The first look you get from the girl you just kissed for the first time. It's so beautiful. Her head is usually tilted down somewhat, her eyes wide open, looking into mine, and a smile. That smile.

It's just so wonderful. The whole thing. Those moments you remember and treasure.