Filler

Food is expensive. Most of you probably knew that. And so did I. But still, I wanted to put it out there. Bought around 5 kilos of french fries today, and a couple of liters of oil, and it was like $15! That's just too much for some sliced potatoes and something extracted from one of the most abundant plants on the planet. But I bought it anyway. I'm a sucker for fried food. And it'll probably be gone in a week.

Anywho, other than wasting money on food, I haven't done much today. Woke up with another migraine attack. Took some pills and slept to the afternoon. Went shopping, got home, and mostly spent my time in bed popping more pills.

So instead of going on about my totally uneventful day, tell me about your day! What did you do today?

Migraine night.

Contrary to popular belief I do have interest beyond alcohol, sex and drinking said alcohol. And no, it's not drugs. But since it's migraine night for me, and I'm not very good at stringing together sentences right now, I thought that I'd just share some of said interest with you right now!

First up is Cracked.com. This is a site offering some of the funniest articles I've ever encountered on the web. May it be a list of scientific reasons a zombie apocalypse could happen right now or how to improve your efficiency they always crack me up. I guess that's why it's called cracked.

Next on the list is actually several different sites covering more or less the same thing. Starcraft 2 Live Streams! I'll just make a list of the top the favorites in this genre with a quick explanation to each of them

1. Destiny. Destiny, or Steven Bonnell, is probably the best streamer out there. Perfect mix of sarcasm and seriousness. Definitively the most fun to watch even thought he plays the wrong race.
2. Day[9]. A former broodwar top player, now giving fun tips and tactics to all the new players of SC2. He's quite quirky. Just check him out in one of my earlier posts dancing to trumpets here.
3. PsyStarcraft. Real fun to listen to, especially when he trolls or rages, but in a fun way.

And the last thing I'm going to link to is xkcd. It's a web comic with stick figures. Probably one of the best web comics there is. It's like... no I can't explain it. xkcd is something you'll have to experience for yourself.

Well that's all from me this evening. I'm going to get some sleep so I don't need to think about my head any more. Besides, I got college classes like 9 am tomorrow. I haven't been up that early for ages. Be well everyone.

Horses don't have souls.

Have you ever looked a horse in the eye? Having that black, soulless, void starring back at you? I have. I could feel it trying to trap me. Feed on me. Trying to fill that gaping, metaphysical hole in its body with the life force of my own. So I said to it: "If you let me live, I'll help you. I'll bring others to you. They won't see it coming." The horse agreed and let me go. So, anyhow, have you guys seen my horse? He's pretty cool.

In other news: First day at being back at school. It went by pretty quick, was just some information and registration. And when I got home I got a nice surprise in the mail. A letter from Google. They said that they loved my blog so much that they had decided to give me a gift-card of $110 just so I could advertise it better.

Thank you Google!

I think that was pretty darn nice of them. Well, that was my day. It doesn't really happen much when you're sober. And horses truly are scary. Be well!

Free rave party. Courtesy of nature.

So picture this: You sit up at night. At 4 am. Everything is perfectly normal. But what's that? Something flashing in the sky? At first you think that you're just imagining things and go back to what you were doing. Which in my case was totally not porn. And then it happens again. But way worse. The sky lights up like God was playing with his new strobe light. Then there's the thunder. This continues for 30 minutes. The power went out after 15.

I think this was the first time in my life that I've seen so much lightning in so little time. I mean, I could move around in my apartment, even though it was pitch dark due to the power being out, due to the flashes lighting it up with regular intervals. It was awesome.

And now to the cigarette bending trick. Bersercules, Mark and DWei had it right. I'm a wizard bitches!

Behold my awesome powers!

So now you know. Other powers include making whiskey strangely disappear and hats to look photoshoped. I don't even need any tiger blood.


Until next time readers. Be well 

Aftermatch

So last night went exactly as planned. I drank some scotch, some beer, some bourbon and similar things. Managed to get VIP somewhere there in the mist. Got down to the club and got even drunker.

So there's that. I've described enough of my drunken adventures for you guys to get the picture. Something that's been bothering me all day thought, except for my hangover that is, is that it's 2011 and we still don't got any of those cool things we saw in hacker movies. Like 3D file managers, holograms, awesome technomusic every time you do something on the computer or laser swords. Not sure how laser swords fit in there but I want them. Something I don't want from them movies thought, which they seem to love, is terminal programs. God those were just awful.

No mouse support? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

And last but not least. My cigarette bending trick. But instead of just telling you how to do it I was thinking that I'd make it more of a game. I'll show you what the result looks like and the first one to figure out how I do it gets an honorable mention on my blog.

It's all bendy and smokable!

Not the best picture I know, but you get the... picture. Heh, I need to learn more words. Cray out

Last party of the summer

This is it guys. The last party for the summer. And I'm going to go all out. Going to head out soon to buy me some whiskey, some beer and some new hair wax. And then it's drinking time. If I don't wake up in a ditch or in jail tomorrow, I've done something wrong. And well, that's it really.

Tune in next time to learn such amazing party tricks like bending a cigarette without breaking it and other glorious things!

Tired

Well.  I'm pretty tired due to have been up all night discussing such important matters as the greenhouse effect on Venus, how earth would be affected if Jupiter turned into a star from a gas giant, and why we'll never be able to terraform Mars. Discussions on the internet are serious business. Or at least that's what I try to tell myself when I wake up around 4 in the afternoon.

So what else is new in the life of cray? Not much really. Mostly been hanging about in my room depressed over the fact that the summer is over and university starts up again on Monday. And that means no more drinking for me. Well, except at the after-exam parties. And before-exam parties. And the weekend parties. But aside from that... nothing.

To sad about this to even express it with words. So are just going to leave this video here to do the expressing for me.

Be well all. Cray out

Migraine again

Well, I got a migraine once again. So I'll just do what I always do evenings like these, and share some fun clips from YouTube, instead of giving you a real post.

First one up is one of my oldest favorites. This is a video we've quoted many times while being drunk. And when I say "quoted" I actually mean "screamed out to the top of our lungs while doing the hand movements" +1 if you manage to figure out which line we quote the most.

Following up on that one, not trying to die from laughter, I present to you a clip that might require a special taste. But I find it hilarious. It's a japanese power rangers spoof. It's really well made and got a lot of funny moments. And although it's in japanese it got some english subs on it, so it should be alright.

And since I can't think of any more funny clips on top of my mind I'll just leave you with this beautiful tune I found by browsing my follower list here on blogger. I can't really remember who posted it first, but whoever it was, he got a good taste in music!

Make sure to watch it in 1080p. Well, that's all from me this evening. Take care you all and be well.

Worst tanning place ever.

Ever wondered how it feels like being cooked alive? Well I haven't. But somehow I got to experience something very similar to that just recently anywho. It all started yesterday really. My mate and I decided to go clubbing. For real this time. So whiskey was bought, VIP-passes to the biggest place in town was fixed, and alcoholic beverages were drunk. Only bad thing about this totally awesome night was that I managed to step in the only puddle of water for miles on the way down there. And with puddle I mean treacherous hidden sinkhole filled with water. It was so deep it probably had it own ecosystem down there. Needless to say my foot, and part of my leg, got drenched. But i was drunk so I didn't really care. The rest of the night progressed like they usually do with some drinking, dancing and winking at girls. Only thing out of the ordinary was that the security guard seemed high and asked if I was related to the prince of Sweden. I told him that I was and he let me pass.

But anything that goes up must come down eventually. Which leads me to today. I woke up around 12 pm or so and the first thing that I asked myself was if something had crawled into my mouth and died. The second thing was why my friend were blasting music like he just figured out that his amplifier goes up to 11. So I decided that the best thing to do was to wake up, take a smoke, and then jump on the next bus home So that I could get some real sleep. Said and done. 

After being home for like an hour or so, just watching different TV-shows and drinking huge amounts of water, I got the crazy idea that I wanted go tanning. Probably because my sis, who was visiting, said "hey, lets go tanning" and I said "fine, whatever".  So we go to this place I've never been to before, thinking that i'd be like my regular place. It was not. First lemme tell you about my regular place. It's in a girls gym, so there's always a cute girl working in the reception. You pay for your room, which is fairly large, with it's own shower, huge fan, huge mirror and even a hairdryer. I never use the hairdryer myself, but it's a nice touch. But the most important thing is that the rooms are always cool. Like, temperature wise. Tanning there is very relaxing, like going to a spa or something. Now let me tell me about this other place. First of all, it's fully automated, so you go in using a card, and then enter this incredibly warm room. There's like a couch where you wait for one of the seven tanning booths to get available. I was gonna write rooms first, but those things are way too small to be called that. So it was either booths or torture chambers. Anywho, it's incredibly warm and smells of that tanning smell you get, just in the lobby. So I'm like, "well, they probably got a fan or something inside the booth". They didn't. I paid for my time using some automated coin thinge, went inside my booth, and started the machine. The room/booth was like 2x3 meters, so it didn't take long for the 2400w of ultraviolet light to warm up the booth like an oven. That, and the fact that I was hungover made me sweat like a pig. I actually had to go up and dry myself and the table off once, after like 15 min, due to sweating like a pig. Another 15 min and the time was final up. But I wasn't up for anything. Took me another five just to get my pants and shit on. Felt like I was going to die. 

So today's tip is: Don't go tanning when you're hungover. And don't visit places that's trying to kill you due to heat exhaustion.

That's all from me today. Be well

How to fix your hair.

Something I've noticed, both in my real life, and browsing the internet, is that people don't know how to fix their hair. This saddens me because how you choose to wear your hair makes a huge difference. It's one of the first things you notice when you see someone. So I've decided to make a guide for all of you who want to know how to fix your hair. Cray style.

This could be you. If you eat your vegetables.

First things first. This look will work best for guys between 15-55 with short to medium long hair. It involves a lot of hard work, sweat and tears, but it'll be worth it. Probably. Well, let's get this thing started. First thing you have to do...

This is what hobos look like.

 ...holy shit! What is that thing on your face?! Kill it! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Warning: Shaving might give you a tan.

Ah, that's better. Like I said, first thing you'll have to do is to wash your hair. This is a very important step and can't be jumped over. Don't worry though, water is mostly harmless, and it'll be over fairly fast.

If your hair looks anything like mine, You'll look like a soaked farm boy when you get out. It's not an ideal look, even if the show Smallville tried to make it sexy for over 8 seasons, but fear not. It'll look better once it has dried.

Or maybe not. It kinda looks worse, doesn't it? Anywho, straighten that shit to submission. Easiest way to do this is to use a flat iron. It's a very inexpensive and good tool for any man to have really. I keep mine next to my fire-ax and power tools.

Make sure you've straighten everything so that it's nice and even. Next step is to apply some hair vax. I prefer one that's extremely hard but doesn't shine. I'm using something called "E+46 XTREME FIBER" but since the can also says "made in Sweden" I'm doubtful if you can find it elsewhere. So just find something that's very strong but not shiny. Shiny makes it gay.

When you apply the wax it's important that you take a click and spread it evenly over your fingertips. You should then work your fingers backwards through your hair like you're trying to look like Einstein or something. Make sure you apply the wax from the bottom and distributed evenly up so that you get a nice foundation. Also do this on the sides and back, always going the opposite way of how your hair lies normally.

If you're successful it should now look something like this. The more you look like a mad man who's just escaped from an insane asylum, the better job you did.

The last step is to just pull down your hair again, using both hands, in a forward motion, so that it lies like it normally would. And you're done!

Put on a some accessories and a nice shirt and you're done! If you got dark hair like me, and a nice tan, I'd recommend a white shirt or t-shirt to give your look some contrast. And some designer shades to hide your eyes. Makes it a bit more mysterious and/or cool. This look is perfect if you want to pick up girls, go clubbing or just want to look awesome while going shopping.


Well, that's my guide on how to look like Cray. I hope I inspired some of you to try a new hairstyle, and if not, at least I got to take a lot of pictures of myself. So either way it's a win/win.

Tune in tomorrow for another epic post my me on a subject I haven't decided on yet! Be well.